Decided to spend a day on the island just a short distance from Kratie. I had it all planned out. I was renting a bike, planting a tree, doing a home stay, going to the temple and floating village... I even had a map. Well let's just say this day ended up very happy...found that party.
I'm maybe a quarter into my biking trek and I can hear music blaring and see people dancing around in the distance, fantastic! I finally get to see some people celebrating the New Year! Do I ever, they see me coming up on my bike and right before my eyes someone races over to a bamboo oath, pulls a string and a bamboo roadblock is dropped. I almost fall off my bike laughing as the people approach me dancing and smiling and singing and of course drunk. I'm being pulled off the bike and the women are leading me around in traditional Khmer dance while the men insist I chug Black Panther (a dark 8% beer that's gets you right) and everyone is hollering and being so ridiculous. I manage a few dances before I have to get out of there. When you can't speak to each other and that moment of unclarity comes nothing could be more awkward. So I'm off!
I'm barely biking two more minutes and I hear "happy Khmer New Year!" and all these guys just hanging out eating and drinking shots of rice wine are just beckoning for me to come over. Option A) finish my island tour and be a lame ass never knowing what it's all about. Or Option B) show them how it's done. Clearly I go with the later. So there I am sitting with a bunch of dudes, only one speaks English but is more than happy to translate for everyone, and the songs are starting and the rice wine is just flowing non stop. I think I impressed them.
I finally got to partake in the tradition of the New Year that I've been dying for and that's the Talcum powder all over the face and hair and arms, you name it. Since they all wanted a go at me, let's just say I don't have to baby powder my hair for a least a month after this fiasco, oh it burns! But it keeps everyone in good spirits as I offer to get us more wine and the English speaking gentleman literally has to be carried into bed. Out of control! So I'm sitting around with the younger boys now, about my age, broken English, everyone is drunk...my kind of scene...and I'm stopped dead.
They had been eating BBQ all afternoon, and as good as it looked I'm so thankful I'm a vegetarian. I managed to have a nonstop supply of mango when I looked to my left, on the grill I saw (mom close your eyes) a dog head! I didn't know what to do, I was literally paralyzed by fright. I mean this dog was cute, like wishbone, and there was his head charred to all hell with it's tail in it's mouth. I kid you not they took that and ate it too, then I'm sure they did some weird offering with the head. Ugh. I'm sorry, but I had to let it out. I didn't know whether to run, or cry, or Kris Morrow (throw up) all over the place. Single handily (that is officially the funniest word ever, handily.) the worst experience of my life and I've had KFC for Christmas. I'm still not recovering from either, why did you change your macaroni salad recipe? Why?
Shortly after that I managed to bike my sorry ass back to the start line to walk three Km in the dark to the home stay. At least that was a great experience overall. They were very accommodating to my vegetarian needs and I got a nice piece of floor to crash on for a couple hours before the damn roosters starting going off like they'd never seen the sun before. All in the name of supporting a community!
Fun Fact: rice wine will end your life
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