Wascana lake.
Would you swim in it? Eat the fish you caught out of it? Bath in it? Live in a floating shack on it? These people sure would!
On my way to Phnom Penh, I made a stop in Pursat so I could take a day trip to Kompong Luong, a floating fisherman's village. It has all the amenities you could imagine including computer repair shop, a catholic church, ice making factory, snooker bar, and hair salon! It is only accessible by boat, even throughout the village which is quite the sight to watch dogs and elderly trying to steady themselves from boat to shop and vice versa.
The water of Tonlé Sap was absolutely fowl which turned from a green sludge Polluted with floating dead fish to a thick cocoa color that people swam and fished in. If I ever though I'd eat fish here, I've changed my mind. The location of the village can also vary within a few kilometers as when the water drops the whole village is moved.
It was definitely a sight to see, again baffled at how these people have television, or even electricity for that matter. This needs to be on a episode of How It Works.
Fun fact: I got bit? Pecked? By a chicken. It scared the living daylights out if me. I stepped out of the tuk tuk and was jabbed at followed by an awful clucking scream. I looked down and there was a chicken, just lying there, it's legs tied together and it tied to the exhaust of a moto. People do some crazy shit out here, if you think a chicken is hanging dead, it's not.
Wednesday, 28 March 2012
Monday, 26 March 2012
2 things you already know but don't necessarily remember
Appreciate the little things. Next time you have your morning coffee, or those few quiet moments to yourself on the way to or from work, even having a warm home cooked meal. Stop. Really savor that moment. Not only because we are blessed enough to have them but because it brings us back to reality for a moment. It's a chance to escape the hustle of daily life if we take a moment to absorb those small things that make it worth it. Listen to your favorite song, talk to a neighbor, smile and wave at the person staring at you from the next car over. All these things can be very uplifting and find a calm within you.
It seems to be the pace out here in SE Asia, especially Cambodia. My mouth hurts from smiling or having nonsensical conversation and I've waived to at least a hundred people (mainly children) today. But that's part of my day I truly cherish. Although everyone works so hard and has so little, they are so happy. They wander from town to town talking to everyone along the way, stopping for a soda or some fresh fruit. In their simplicity they have found peace. Although my life back in Canada, is socially exciting and never stopping, its also world's away and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to learn mute it a bit.
Secondly, be a kid. Everyone out here is always play fighting, especially the grown men, and it's a huge form of entertainment. I'm not saying smack the next person you see on the head, but prank calling a family member isn't a bad idea. Buy your favorite childhood candy, go swing in the park (I hear the weather is great back home!), sing and dance to a popular song from your youth, I suggest wrapping a turban around your head and dancing to Xavier Rudd's Gift of the trees for a change of pace. Play a board game, make a funny face at someone unsuspecting, or just run around screaming for a minute. I promise you doing one childish thing a day will increase your longevity. Keep learning and keep growing.
Fun fact: stay green. Once you ripen, you rot.
It seems to be the pace out here in SE Asia, especially Cambodia. My mouth hurts from smiling or having nonsensical conversation and I've waived to at least a hundred people (mainly children) today. But that's part of my day I truly cherish. Although everyone works so hard and has so little, they are so happy. They wander from town to town talking to everyone along the way, stopping for a soda or some fresh fruit. In their simplicity they have found peace. Although my life back in Canada, is socially exciting and never stopping, its also world's away and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to learn mute it a bit.
Secondly, be a kid. Everyone out here is always play fighting, especially the grown men, and it's a huge form of entertainment. I'm not saying smack the next person you see on the head, but prank calling a family member isn't a bad idea. Buy your favorite childhood candy, go swing in the park (I hear the weather is great back home!), sing and dance to a popular song from your youth, I suggest wrapping a turban around your head and dancing to Xavier Rudd's Gift of the trees for a change of pace. Play a board game, make a funny face at someone unsuspecting, or just run around screaming for a minute. I promise you doing one childish thing a day will increase your longevity. Keep learning and keep growing.
Fun fact: stay green. Once you ripen, you rot.
Cambodia, Asia's dollar store
Look out Cambodia, there's a new Angelina in town!
I'm in love. Again. Cambodia has to be the most welcoming place I've visited so far, especially considering barely anyone speaks English. They are more than open to you joining them for morning coffee or dinner and just enjoying each others company.
I started in Battambang, a lovely riverside town with Cambodia's best preserved early 20th century French architecture. I stayed at Royal Hotel near Psar Nat, a very large Central market. It was a very clean and central spot to go for long strolls on the riverside or access anything you could need. After a day playing tour guide to myself, I booked a moto (and actual guide) to take me to the more rural area's as well as to see some famous sights.
Our first stop was the Bamboo train (which will be closing next month to make way for a commercial line), Vancouver's wooden roller coaster has nothing on this little piece of Tetanus. It's a 6 HP, gasoline fueled, broken bamboo crate, on a warped track piece of glory! I was terrified! We even derailed at one point! Luckily it's so light that you simply take the bamboo crate off, get the barbell looking wheels back on the track, and you are off again! If two trains are approaching each other the one with less cargo will disassemble to let the other pass by.
We came to a stop to visit with some locals before heading back from the train. Two bright eyed boys had me on their own tour of a brick factory in no time. It's amazing how brilliant these kids are! Not only is their English fantastic but some of them can speak up to five languages! They told us they learn it all from the tourists, and considering they make a dollar a tour and roughly 30 people a day visit, who needs school?! On top that of that brick making is actually pretty cool, I'll save you the details. Highlight of being with these kids was the energy and the laughter and being covered in clay crawling through small spaces, "mind your head", they are so exited to show you everything they know. One of the boys even gave me a ring he had made and put it on my ring finger. I looked at him and said, we are married now you know? Suddenly he went deadpan, his smile disintegrated, and he simply said... "no". we both burst out laughing.
It was a very long day with roadside fruit stand stops, visits to temples, and a tree housing the largest bats I've ever seen. Think Echo, (Jason and Heidi's Chihuahua) with wings. They leave big sticks beside the tree so you can disturb the bats and see them fly. Ugh, gross. We randomly came across a winery (Chan Thai Chhoeng) as well! Does kimhuot (my guide) know me or what?! I tried a red wine which was basically baby duck and no one drinks that crap except Mr. Krees. The strongest brandy ever, not bad for ten in the morn, and a deliciously spicy honey ginger juice, yum!
Two of the biggest highlights on the day, and I mean biggest, were mountaintop temples. Phnom Banan was my first stop. 358 stone steps, 11th century I may add, to five towers reminiscent to Angkor Wat. I struggled to keep a good pace as my legs turned to jelly, god I'm out of shape, but could only hear Christopher yelling encouragement in my ear. Thank Buddha for that because the view from the top was breath taking! I felt like Indianapolis Jones (trailer park boys) as I explored the towers and wondered how this was even possible. The mountains surrounding me, the sweet smell of flowers in the air, and music drifted up from a local wedding made this experience out of this world.
Phnom Sampeau was a complex of temples, and yet another stunning view. Not only does it bottle my mind (blades of glory) how people even got up here to create these places so long ago, but people now live up here and are watching television! This mountain was high, Snoop Dog high and the monkeys definitely have no problem letting you know they live there. As I ran from one a local said, "he not bite, he only kiss" and giggled at me. Great. For my last stop I found my way to the Killing Caves. After this I don't know how well I'm going to deal with the killing fields of Choeung Ek. There are three caves from which people were thrown to plummet to their death after being bludgeoned by the Khmer Rouge cadres. A glass walled memorial at the bottom contains many skulls and bones of the executed. One cave for for the men, one for the babies and children, and one for the women. Unspeakable.
Fun Fact: populated at over 14.8 million people, Cambodia is the 69th most populous country in the world.
I'm in love. Again. Cambodia has to be the most welcoming place I've visited so far, especially considering barely anyone speaks English. They are more than open to you joining them for morning coffee or dinner and just enjoying each others company.
I started in Battambang, a lovely riverside town with Cambodia's best preserved early 20th century French architecture. I stayed at Royal Hotel near Psar Nat, a very large Central market. It was a very clean and central spot to go for long strolls on the riverside or access anything you could need. After a day playing tour guide to myself, I booked a moto (and actual guide) to take me to the more rural area's as well as to see some famous sights.
Our first stop was the Bamboo train (which will be closing next month to make way for a commercial line), Vancouver's wooden roller coaster has nothing on this little piece of Tetanus. It's a 6 HP, gasoline fueled, broken bamboo crate, on a warped track piece of glory! I was terrified! We even derailed at one point! Luckily it's so light that you simply take the bamboo crate off, get the barbell looking wheels back on the track, and you are off again! If two trains are approaching each other the one with less cargo will disassemble to let the other pass by.
We came to a stop to visit with some locals before heading back from the train. Two bright eyed boys had me on their own tour of a brick factory in no time. It's amazing how brilliant these kids are! Not only is their English fantastic but some of them can speak up to five languages! They told us they learn it all from the tourists, and considering they make a dollar a tour and roughly 30 people a day visit, who needs school?! On top that of that brick making is actually pretty cool, I'll save you the details. Highlight of being with these kids was the energy and the laughter and being covered in clay crawling through small spaces, "mind your head", they are so exited to show you everything they know. One of the boys even gave me a ring he had made and put it on my ring finger. I looked at him and said, we are married now you know? Suddenly he went deadpan, his smile disintegrated, and he simply said... "no". we both burst out laughing.
It was a very long day with roadside fruit stand stops, visits to temples, and a tree housing the largest bats I've ever seen. Think Echo, (Jason and Heidi's Chihuahua) with wings. They leave big sticks beside the tree so you can disturb the bats and see them fly. Ugh, gross. We randomly came across a winery (Chan Thai Chhoeng) as well! Does kimhuot (my guide) know me or what?! I tried a red wine which was basically baby duck and no one drinks that crap except Mr. Krees. The strongest brandy ever, not bad for ten in the morn, and a deliciously spicy honey ginger juice, yum!
Two of the biggest highlights on the day, and I mean biggest, were mountaintop temples. Phnom Banan was my first stop. 358 stone steps, 11th century I may add, to five towers reminiscent to Angkor Wat. I struggled to keep a good pace as my legs turned to jelly, god I'm out of shape, but could only hear Christopher yelling encouragement in my ear. Thank Buddha for that because the view from the top was breath taking! I felt like Indianapolis Jones (trailer park boys) as I explored the towers and wondered how this was even possible. The mountains surrounding me, the sweet smell of flowers in the air, and music drifted up from a local wedding made this experience out of this world.
Phnom Sampeau was a complex of temples, and yet another stunning view. Not only does it bottle my mind (blades of glory) how people even got up here to create these places so long ago, but people now live up here and are watching television! This mountain was high, Snoop Dog high and the monkeys definitely have no problem letting you know they live there. As I ran from one a local said, "he not bite, he only kiss" and giggled at me. Great. For my last stop I found my way to the Killing Caves. After this I don't know how well I'm going to deal with the killing fields of Choeung Ek. There are three caves from which people were thrown to plummet to their death after being bludgeoned by the Khmer Rouge cadres. A glass walled memorial at the bottom contains many skulls and bones of the executed. One cave for for the men, one for the babies and children, and one for the women. Unspeakable.
Fun Fact: populated at over 14.8 million people, Cambodia is the 69th most populous country in the world.
Saturday, 24 March 2012
A birthday song
Hey dad! It's your birthday in Cambodia!
Hey dad! I'm gonna have a party!
50 cent beer on tap!
50 cent beer on tap!
3 pints in and I think I need a nap!
Hey dad! It's your birthday in Cambodia!
Hey dad! Time for a dance party!
Rum and coke at sky disco!
Rum and coke at sky disco!
Oh boy, that's enough, time for some rice!
Hey dad! It's your birthday in Cambodia!
Hey dad! Today is your day!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
You get the point!
Fun Fact: You share a birthday with Elton John! Lucky!
Hey dad! I'm gonna have a party!
50 cent beer on tap!
50 cent beer on tap!
3 pints in and I think I need a nap!
Hey dad! It's your birthday in Cambodia!
Hey dad! Time for a dance party!
Rum and coke at sky disco!
Rum and coke at sky disco!
Oh boy, that's enough, time for some rice!
Hey dad! It's your birthday in Cambodia!
Hey dad! Today is your day!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
Happy birthday! Happy birthday!
You get the point!
Fun Fact: You share a birthday with Elton John! Lucky!
Tuesday, 20 March 2012
Saying goodbye to Thailand
As I embark tomorrow on my final journey through Thailand on my way to Cambodia I reminisce on the things I enjoyed and the things that annoyed me.
Let's start with phrases the Thai people have, and I absolutely adore them for this.
Thank you very big
Never try never know
Old enough to know better, too young to care.
Don't worry, chicken curry
Why not?
How are you tomorrow?
You will hear these sayings all over just as much as you can count on every town having a why not? bar.
I've come to terms with the outrageous, left side, driving packed in the back of a truck with way too many people in it. I've also come to terms with the speedo. Just terms though, and that's clearly the Europeans. As much as I sweat out here the humidity has done wonders for my hair and nails, I could claw your eyes out right now. Meow! And then I'd do a Pantene commercial. I love that there are always food stalls, you will never go hungry. The roti pancakes and fresh coconuts are in ample supply and cheap cheap! I give them one big bill and they give me several little ones! What a deal!
The people have made this journey. It really is the land of a million smiles. Even the women currently on my street who I pass three times a day with 3L of water each time always say hello. They must think I'm nuts, but I just can't quench my thirst. I'm up to 6L's! Everyone goes out of their way to help you, and the love and respect they have for their animals here would make any animal lover cry. Everyone has at least four pets and they are so loved, fat, and lazy, I wouldn't mind being reincarnated here.
Television and movies! What a joy this is to find, a little taste of home. I've had the privilege to have t.v. While sick in Samui. I've watched enough Law and Order that I have a Law degree. A least here in South East Asia. Forget Law and Order UK though, it's absolute rubbish. And they still wear those silly wigs. Have you seen Million dollar money drop?! If not, save your brain cells. If you have you can agree with me that these contestants have clearly been trapped in the ground for the past decade at least with oxygen to their brains cut off. The questions are painstakingly easy and these people just scream at each other the wrong answers. Read a book. I'm not the brightest either but when the question is "which of these is not on a Big Mac?" and the answers are either lettuce, pickles, or tomato. come on! I don't even eat meat and you just lost 2K on that?!
Ok so there are jus two things that have annoyed me.
A) couples bringing their children to Thailand, go camping you freaks! And it's always the French, big surprise. they let their children run a muck everywhere including restaurants. Nothing irritates me more. My parents must have really lucked out, I don't remember ever throwing tantrums or even hearing stories of it. Needless to say my last two meals have been spent with "uncle jason's" tormenting my meal. If I had ever acted that way I would have been out of there right quick and punished but these parents either look at their little brats with proud looks on their faces or the "oh, they're just kids" attitudes. No. You're just a "shitty parent" and your children have ADHD. Take a normal vacation, I dunno... Disney World! Golden sand beaches where people want to relax are not places for screaming demons. I'm definitely going to be one of this parents who only likes their own kids. Kidding! Babies are bad!
B) people who don't realize you are directly in front or behind them when walking. If you can't sense someone behind you trying to get around and you are just faffing along you must be Helen Keller. Wait, no even she would sense someone trying to get by. Or you can see me plain as day but you have no problem walking right through me! This is unbelievable the amount of times this has happened. Just tonight some girl was in the way of a moto and jumped right into me full force, she got a grade four glare that's for sure. People can be just so inconsiderate. At the same time I realize we need people like this because the Canadians are too polite. You go, no you go, no I insist! We would be there all day, really I've let one person ahead of me and ended up in the same spot for fifteen minutes. Ugh, me and my manors. Once again, just a reminder to my rents. You hit the jackpot! Sure your eldest is a write off, but you did very well with me. Give yourself a pat on the back...nope! An air five!
Fun Fact: coconut water has the same isotonic makeup as human blood. It could be used as an IV drip in some cases! So drink up... That is not your cue to become a vampire... Morrow.
Let's start with phrases the Thai people have, and I absolutely adore them for this.
Thank you very big
Never try never know
Old enough to know better, too young to care.
Don't worry, chicken curry
Why not?
How are you tomorrow?
You will hear these sayings all over just as much as you can count on every town having a why not? bar.
I've come to terms with the outrageous, left side, driving packed in the back of a truck with way too many people in it. I've also come to terms with the speedo. Just terms though, and that's clearly the Europeans. As much as I sweat out here the humidity has done wonders for my hair and nails, I could claw your eyes out right now. Meow! And then I'd do a Pantene commercial. I love that there are always food stalls, you will never go hungry. The roti pancakes and fresh coconuts are in ample supply and cheap cheap! I give them one big bill and they give me several little ones! What a deal!
The people have made this journey. It really is the land of a million smiles. Even the women currently on my street who I pass three times a day with 3L of water each time always say hello. They must think I'm nuts, but I just can't quench my thirst. I'm up to 6L's! Everyone goes out of their way to help you, and the love and respect they have for their animals here would make any animal lover cry. Everyone has at least four pets and they are so loved, fat, and lazy, I wouldn't mind being reincarnated here.
Television and movies! What a joy this is to find, a little taste of home. I've had the privilege to have t.v. While sick in Samui. I've watched enough Law and Order that I have a Law degree. A least here in South East Asia. Forget Law and Order UK though, it's absolute rubbish. And they still wear those silly wigs. Have you seen Million dollar money drop?! If not, save your brain cells. If you have you can agree with me that these contestants have clearly been trapped in the ground for the past decade at least with oxygen to their brains cut off. The questions are painstakingly easy and these people just scream at each other the wrong answers. Read a book. I'm not the brightest either but when the question is "which of these is not on a Big Mac?" and the answers are either lettuce, pickles, or tomato. come on! I don't even eat meat and you just lost 2K on that?!
Ok so there are jus two things that have annoyed me.
A) couples bringing their children to Thailand, go camping you freaks! And it's always the French, big surprise. they let their children run a muck everywhere including restaurants. Nothing irritates me more. My parents must have really lucked out, I don't remember ever throwing tantrums or even hearing stories of it. Needless to say my last two meals have been spent with "uncle jason's" tormenting my meal. If I had ever acted that way I would have been out of there right quick and punished but these parents either look at their little brats with proud looks on their faces or the "oh, they're just kids" attitudes. No. You're just a "shitty parent" and your children have ADHD. Take a normal vacation, I dunno... Disney World! Golden sand beaches where people want to relax are not places for screaming demons. I'm definitely going to be one of this parents who only likes their own kids. Kidding! Babies are bad!
B) people who don't realize you are directly in front or behind them when walking. If you can't sense someone behind you trying to get around and you are just faffing along you must be Helen Keller. Wait, no even she would sense someone trying to get by. Or you can see me plain as day but you have no problem walking right through me! This is unbelievable the amount of times this has happened. Just tonight some girl was in the way of a moto and jumped right into me full force, she got a grade four glare that's for sure. People can be just so inconsiderate. At the same time I realize we need people like this because the Canadians are too polite. You go, no you go, no I insist! We would be there all day, really I've let one person ahead of me and ended up in the same spot for fifteen minutes. Ugh, me and my manors. Once again, just a reminder to my rents. You hit the jackpot! Sure your eldest is a write off, but you did very well with me. Give yourself a pat on the back...nope! An air five!
Fun Fact: coconut water has the same isotonic makeup as human blood. It could be used as an IV drip in some cases! So drink up... That is not your cue to become a vampire... Morrow.
Sunday, 18 March 2012
BB's field trip!
Back on my A game I booked a island tour so I could check out some of those important things I'd miss been to scared to be on a scooter still. First stop, viewpoint of Chaweng beach...PASS! Secondly Grandmother and Grandfather Rock. I felt really silly taking a picture of rocks, I felt even more silly taking pictures of rocks that look like male and female genitalia. Google it. But there is a love story behind it of a man and a woman ending their lives together in a big storm and the symbol of this love turn into these Granite rocks. Ummm? Awww? No, I don't think so. I did however get my hands on some coconut caramel which is snot green with the excact same consistency, but tastes delicious. Moving along (this is about as entertaining as the tour is, no doubt it was 350 baht) we saw a "monkey show" which was just them showing us how they make monkeys work for them by climbing up the tree and knocking down coconuts so they don't have to. I was a little pissed, give the monkey a machete and let him cut open the coconut and serve it to me, now that would be a show! We then visited Khunnaram Temple where the body of Samui's mummified monk Loung Pordaeng. He is in the same position he died in and has been for over 39 years now! Except now he rocks Ray Bans because his eyeballs fell out. Once again I was beat with a stick with Holy Water, this time by a real monk! Then he gave me a pretty white bracelet in turn for a donation. But he had me put it in the box with the bracelets and not the bow for donations. Did i just get hustled by a monk? Then we hit up Namuang Fall. Ok, we have an hour here. It's a 20 minute walk both ways and if you are late we leave you here. I'll just sit in the grass, thanks. JK! We all made it there and back on time even though I was distracted by elephants, and tigers, and a giant buffet of fruit. Little did I know I was also in the middle of the safari. I still can't agree with the doped up tigers on two foot chains. The last two stops were my favorite and unfortunately I was exhausted by this point but still managed to enjoy myself. Big Buddha sits 12meters high placed at the top of 73 steps, the area is very busy with monks and crafts and plenty of other beautiful carvings and statues. Last but not least we went to Wat Leam Suwanaram which is over 100 years old and displays a beautiful Chinese lady monk. You can also take meditation courses here or if you are me, lose your top while taking a picture of one of the most glorious temple. I don't know why I thought wearing a scarf as a top was a good idea.
Fun Fact: a four hour tour turns into a five and a Half hour, three bus change, flat tire series of events.
Fun Fact: a four hour tour turns into a five and a Half hour, three bus change, flat tire series of events.
Party or die? No. Party then die. Woof.
It was time to relax. My body was officially breaking down due to all the party. My lips are so inflamed I look like Janice Dickenson, and my body aches, we will link that to dehydration. I'm chronically exhausted and have no appetite so when I arrived to Ko Samui I settled into Bo Phut, a quaint fisherman's village. Deciding to avoid Chaweng and Lamai was the best thing I could have done. It's much like Patong, Phuket or Kuta, Bali. It would be excellent for a two weeks shopping partyng free for all since there is much to do on this island. Bo Phut itself is not necessarily for me with it's gorgeous resorts and lush manicured hedges spotted with multicolored flowers. Everyone here looks so crisp and wealthy and eat and drink at ridiculously priced restaurants. Beautiful though and worth the price if you can do it! I managed, as always, to find a back alley with a guest house. Still more than I'd like to pay probably the best I'd find and I've got it all. For $13 a night I have wifi, a hot shower (you wouldn't think you'd want it, but what a luxury!) a fridge, fan, wardrobe, my own clean little room, and no one else is staying here! Just what I needed since I've been quite Ill.
Fun Fact: you can doctor yourself in Thailand since the pharmacy will give you anything! Thanks web MD!
Fun Fact: you can doctor yourself in Thailand since the pharmacy will give you anything! Thanks web MD!
Restless on Turtle Island
Now we are up to speed! I tried to escape the party by going here but to no avail. Beck's and I did journey from Sairee beach (the main hub) South to check out Chalok Baan Kao. It was about an hour walk and a much more relaxed part of the island. It was nice to see all the commotion along the way. Since I stayed in Good Dreams Hostel I managed to get a good crew together for the Blue Moon party at Magic Garden, a shame it was such a bust but still a funny night in all. It seems the only place to party is Lotus Bar, which is a really good time. On my last day Alex, the one man I'm willing to let have dreadlocks slide into the manbun movement, and I took a long tail taxi boat to Nangyuan for a day of snorkeling. It was so nice to escape Tao for the day. Nangyuan is three islands connect by a Y shaped beach path so you can walk to all three and the largest island has a spectacular view that would make you melt more than the sun. We heard, not sure if it's true, the Chilli Peppers wrote two albums here. Easy to comprehend if you see it.
Fun Fact: they sell laughing gas here. Ummmm... Kill a few brain cells, why not?
Fun Fact: they sell laughing gas here. Ummmm... Kill a few brain cells, why not?
Missed a few Canoe trips
Haven't written in a while and definitely missed stuff in between meeting Beck's in Ko Tao. Here we go!
Full moon party. Of course it was a blast and I understand why it's one of the best known beach party's ever, but really, it's just another huge party. If you think of any event you've been to with music and 5000+ people and multiply it by five that's what you had. The bonus was moving from bar to bar for the different music. Except for Bon Jovi, where did they even get their hands on that? There were really only two stops for me music wise. Watching all the different party people was the real treat. There were teams of teenagers in matching day glow outfits covered in body paint just there to have a good time with each other, guys on the prowl, girls simply there to be seen, acid heads there for the trance flopping about like electrocuted fish, and the real messed up crowd who were clearly on the verge of overdose. My crowd however was great, and there were very few. We bounced around from bar to bar, mainly having dance breaks at the top 40 but also watching people go down to the waterside and hurt themselves. We had coherent conversation and plenty of laughs. The aftermath, unfortunately, was the equivalent of what Craven looks like when it's over. Of I get into that anymore I'm going to go into a fit of rage.
A shout out to Pukey Boy. Don't forget to bring your Howell. Another guys from Wales that I met I'm sure I've mentioned him before and how I can't ingest a liquid around him because he has me in a constant fit of hysterics. Basically it's because he's so simple. Such an innocent guy, trying a lot of things for his first time on this trip. His one liners will definitely take you down a notch though. We were all chatting about what a crazy dance party was going on around us and I proclaimed I was the luckiest girl at the dance. Howell turn to me and said, "yeah, your options are Pukey Boy or Gay Jesus" maybe you had to be there but it was true and highlarious. Just sending out some love to one of Wales finest. On that note, everyone needs to get into Mrs. brown's boys. Pukey told me about it and it's unreal.
The day after the full moon party I managed to constantly stuff my face and baby my new tattoo. I think I forgot to mention I got a bamboo tattoo on my foot. What an amazing experience! The steady hand of the artist is incomprehensible and it hurts way less then the gun, more like being constantly bit by fire ants, that doesn't sound to good either I guess. Pukey Boy and I went to watch the Hangover 2 at a local bar. That movie is very realistic! However! I've managed to avoid loosing a digit, have sex with a tranny, tattoo my face, wake up somewhere unknown, or steal a monkey (though that one still may happen) on this trip. However, i did see 2Pac in the clouds. But I now understand why at the end of the movie dad looked at me sternly and said "you're not going".
Fun Fact: I did go!
Full moon party. Of course it was a blast and I understand why it's one of the best known beach party's ever, but really, it's just another huge party. If you think of any event you've been to with music and 5000+ people and multiply it by five that's what you had. The bonus was moving from bar to bar for the different music. Except for Bon Jovi, where did they even get their hands on that? There were really only two stops for me music wise. Watching all the different party people was the real treat. There were teams of teenagers in matching day glow outfits covered in body paint just there to have a good time with each other, guys on the prowl, girls simply there to be seen, acid heads there for the trance flopping about like electrocuted fish, and the real messed up crowd who were clearly on the verge of overdose. My crowd however was great, and there were very few. We bounced around from bar to bar, mainly having dance breaks at the top 40 but also watching people go down to the waterside and hurt themselves. We had coherent conversation and plenty of laughs. The aftermath, unfortunately, was the equivalent of what Craven looks like when it's over. Of I get into that anymore I'm going to go into a fit of rage.
A shout out to Pukey Boy. Don't forget to bring your Howell. Another guys from Wales that I met I'm sure I've mentioned him before and how I can't ingest a liquid around him because he has me in a constant fit of hysterics. Basically it's because he's so simple. Such an innocent guy, trying a lot of things for his first time on this trip. His one liners will definitely take you down a notch though. We were all chatting about what a crazy dance party was going on around us and I proclaimed I was the luckiest girl at the dance. Howell turn to me and said, "yeah, your options are Pukey Boy or Gay Jesus" maybe you had to be there but it was true and highlarious. Just sending out some love to one of Wales finest. On that note, everyone needs to get into Mrs. brown's boys. Pukey told me about it and it's unreal.
The day after the full moon party I managed to constantly stuff my face and baby my new tattoo. I think I forgot to mention I got a bamboo tattoo on my foot. What an amazing experience! The steady hand of the artist is incomprehensible and it hurts way less then the gun, more like being constantly bit by fire ants, that doesn't sound to good either I guess. Pukey Boy and I went to watch the Hangover 2 at a local bar. That movie is very realistic! However! I've managed to avoid loosing a digit, have sex with a tranny, tattoo my face, wake up somewhere unknown, or steal a monkey (though that one still may happen) on this trip. However, i did see 2Pac in the clouds. But I now understand why at the end of the movie dad looked at me sternly and said "you're not going".
Fun Fact: I did go!
Monday, 12 March 2012
Indian Barbie and Uncle Traveler in La La Land
Within minutes of finding my bearings in Ko Tao I run into a lovely English gal, also traveling on her own. We both agree we want to go on a hike the following day but with her map and our sense of direction it looks like we are going to get lost. I need one of those colorful maps with cartoons and a legend for anything to make sense and hers looks like a proper pirate map.
We decide, even after the full moon party, we need a night on the town. Luckily for me there is a place called Queen's Cabaret and a lady boy show every night. This was such an experience! The costuming, make up, and fake boobies were out of this world. They had amazing choreography and always do numbers with several tranny's flailing about from Britney to J.Lo to Gaga. I walked by during the day and they were rehearsing, it's unreal the effort they put into this. In proper dance attire too! Little tank tops and short shorts, it reminded me of my days as a dancer. Well not so much me but watching the girls who actually danced, rehearse. I have a rejuvenated appreciation for the gays. I'm still aw struck and my favorite number was a solo performance to the song "my way" but a woman singing until the very end when Frank takes over.
So this Marilyn looking lady boy is doing a smashing job while slowly stripping away her padding, dress, make up, you name it. She works her way into a mans suit and suddenly wipes off all her make up and right when Frank belts out the ending of the song the wig comes off and this gorgeous man is standing before us. Glorious.
We hit up Lotus bar after where the stragglers of the full moon party have washed up on shore. Still sipping on buckets and dancing their red bull pulsing hearts out. We settled down on the beach with these Croatian guys, I'm so thick sometimes, did you know that's by Italy? I thought he made that up. we hung out with these guys all night But not without a handful of dudes trying to kidnap me. When did it become appropriate to just grab a girl and take her away? What jack holes. One Thai guy even insisted we had already met and was about to throw me on his bike and take me to the reggae bar. I think maybe he saw me walk by in the day, which apparently made us acquaintances. So there were a few choice words exchanged throughout the night but we danced some disco under the stars until the wee hours of the morning. I made it home just before sun up, I refuse to be caught with the sun up here after a night of partying, could you imagine that feeling? Gross.
Needless to say Becks and I have only managed to get breakfast and we are both going to nap before we lock ourselves in her bungalow and watch Absolutely Fabulous all night. We seriously want to try and get to some other beaches tomorrow. But I have a feeling we are going to forget to lock the door tonight...
Fun Fact: depending what hand you are you have a tendency to chew food on that side of your mouth.
We decide, even after the full moon party, we need a night on the town. Luckily for me there is a place called Queen's Cabaret and a lady boy show every night. This was such an experience! The costuming, make up, and fake boobies were out of this world. They had amazing choreography and always do numbers with several tranny's flailing about from Britney to J.Lo to Gaga. I walked by during the day and they were rehearsing, it's unreal the effort they put into this. In proper dance attire too! Little tank tops and short shorts, it reminded me of my days as a dancer. Well not so much me but watching the girls who actually danced, rehearse. I have a rejuvenated appreciation for the gays. I'm still aw struck and my favorite number was a solo performance to the song "my way" but a woman singing until the very end when Frank takes over.
So this Marilyn looking lady boy is doing a smashing job while slowly stripping away her padding, dress, make up, you name it. She works her way into a mans suit and suddenly wipes off all her make up and right when Frank belts out the ending of the song the wig comes off and this gorgeous man is standing before us. Glorious.
We hit up Lotus bar after where the stragglers of the full moon party have washed up on shore. Still sipping on buckets and dancing their red bull pulsing hearts out. We settled down on the beach with these Croatian guys, I'm so thick sometimes, did you know that's by Italy? I thought he made that up. we hung out with these guys all night But not without a handful of dudes trying to kidnap me. When did it become appropriate to just grab a girl and take her away? What jack holes. One Thai guy even insisted we had already met and was about to throw me on his bike and take me to the reggae bar. I think maybe he saw me walk by in the day, which apparently made us acquaintances. So there were a few choice words exchanged throughout the night but we danced some disco under the stars until the wee hours of the morning. I made it home just before sun up, I refuse to be caught with the sun up here after a night of partying, could you imagine that feeling? Gross.
Needless to say Becks and I have only managed to get breakfast and we are both going to nap before we lock ourselves in her bungalow and watch Absolutely Fabulous all night. We seriously want to try and get to some other beaches tomorrow. But I have a feeling we are going to forget to lock the door tonight...
Fun Fact: depending what hand you are you have a tendency to chew food on that side of your mouth.
Thursday, 8 March 2012
Do you know the mushroom man?
Okay, this guy takes the cake of Wankers I've met on this trip...well he was on the trip really.
Alun and I are sitting on our deck and this totally mangled character with a glow paint phoenix covering his face is making his way up the road. "do you know where the dirt road is?" believe me it was barely a sentence but that's what he meant. Well, they are all dirt roads and you are currently on one. "do you speak English? Can I come up? Will you be my friends?" oh brother, yup! Get on up here. This guy entertained us for about an hour, mainly because his opening sentence upon climbing onto out porch from the side that had no stairs was "I passed out in Bangkok and got my dick tattooed, want to see?" and he is laughing hysterically and I'm looking for the nearest exit. What an opening line. He settles down a bit and we get to chatting. He is absolutely ripped on mushrooms and is in fits of giggles, talking like a little Thai lady (everything was 50 baht, followed by convulsive laughter) apparently everyone is laughing at him (no one is around) and why is that girl getting naked? Well, that's a tree, so I'm not sure.
He starts to wonder why we look so somber and Alun explains the cell phone debacle. He processes it a moment and with such an honest face he says, "I got my dick tattooed, but that's better!" ha! What a joker. Next he shows us another tattoo of his friends name, his friend got one of his and remarks, "same needle! Same AIDS!" oh my lord, he's not going to make it. I must admit he really lifted the mood, I've never met anyone so cranked,I hope he made it home.
Fun Fact: this is already the most ridiculous party I've ever been too, and it hasn't even started yet. No matter your party style, you got it!
Alun and I are sitting on our deck and this totally mangled character with a glow paint phoenix covering his face is making his way up the road. "do you know where the dirt road is?" believe me it was barely a sentence but that's what he meant. Well, they are all dirt roads and you are currently on one. "do you speak English? Can I come up? Will you be my friends?" oh brother, yup! Get on up here. This guy entertained us for about an hour, mainly because his opening sentence upon climbing onto out porch from the side that had no stairs was "I passed out in Bangkok and got my dick tattooed, want to see?" and he is laughing hysterically and I'm looking for the nearest exit. What an opening line. He settles down a bit and we get to chatting. He is absolutely ripped on mushrooms and is in fits of giggles, talking like a little Thai lady (everything was 50 baht, followed by convulsive laughter) apparently everyone is laughing at him (no one is around) and why is that girl getting naked? Well, that's a tree, so I'm not sure.
He starts to wonder why we look so somber and Alun explains the cell phone debacle. He processes it a moment and with such an honest face he says, "I got my dick tattooed, but that's better!" ha! What a joker. Next he shows us another tattoo of his friends name, his friend got one of his and remarks, "same needle! Same AIDS!" oh my lord, he's not going to make it. I must admit he really lifted the mood, I've never met anyone so cranked,I hope he made it home.
Fun Fact: this is already the most ridiculous party I've ever been too, and it hasn't even started yet. No matter your party style, you got it!
Glitches in the system
Everyday I spend with Alun I'm more and more grateful for his friendship and insight to life. He will forever be in my heart making scooter noises.
However the universe works it saw we are great travel companions. We compliment each other very well with a spat here and there just for the fun of it. He reminds me a lot of Christopher which makes him a very relaxing person to be around. He has such a huge heart and never sweats the small stuff. It's all about the moment, treating yourself and others right and spreading good karmic energy. What a peach.
Things did get interesting though. He managed to locate his phone that had been jacked the other night via GPS. Steve Jobs, you are a saint! We discussed options on how to go about retrieving the phone and decided he should go on his own and only get the police involved if need be. We both knew this may be the last we ever see of each other if this is some organized crime ring. I sat wide eyed staring at the door for an hour having all my valuables in check and a emergency exit plan if need be, Alun returned.
The police did have to get involved and there was a lot of swearing coming from the woman who had stole from him. Mainly because she was being sent back to Surat Thani first thing in the morning. We were a little shook up about the situation because she knows where he lives. Could she or someone she knows come back with a vengance? Possibly. Now what? Move? Can't. Hide? Sure. His main concern at this point was me. I'd been dragged into this mess, but I wasn't checking out, I was sticking with him. Odds were nothing would come of it. What would be the point, she'd already jacked him for a ton of cash. We switched beds anyway so he was sleeping near the window just in case. Here's an example of a spat we have...
After two jabs on my new pillow I said to him, This pillow sucks, give me that one. "anything else you want to complain about?" well I just want to be comfortable when I'm getting stabbed to death. That got him.
Fun fact: Sarcasm resides in the creative side of the brain
However the universe works it saw we are great travel companions. We compliment each other very well with a spat here and there just for the fun of it. He reminds me a lot of Christopher which makes him a very relaxing person to be around. He has such a huge heart and never sweats the small stuff. It's all about the moment, treating yourself and others right and spreading good karmic energy. What a peach.
Things did get interesting though. He managed to locate his phone that had been jacked the other night via GPS. Steve Jobs, you are a saint! We discussed options on how to go about retrieving the phone and decided he should go on his own and only get the police involved if need be. We both knew this may be the last we ever see of each other if this is some organized crime ring. I sat wide eyed staring at the door for an hour having all my valuables in check and a emergency exit plan if need be, Alun returned.
The police did have to get involved and there was a lot of swearing coming from the woman who had stole from him. Mainly because she was being sent back to Surat Thani first thing in the morning. We were a little shook up about the situation because she knows where he lives. Could she or someone she knows come back with a vengance? Possibly. Now what? Move? Can't. Hide? Sure. His main concern at this point was me. I'd been dragged into this mess, but I wasn't checking out, I was sticking with him. Odds were nothing would come of it. What would be the point, she'd already jacked him for a ton of cash. We switched beds anyway so he was sleeping near the window just in case. Here's an example of a spat we have...
After two jabs on my new pillow I said to him, This pillow sucks, give me that one. "anything else you want to complain about?" well I just want to be comfortable when I'm getting stabbed to death. That got him.
Fun fact: Sarcasm resides in the creative side of the brain
Absolutely flabulous
There were many personal things I wanted to work on this trip.
1) be more conscious of exercise and diet
2) consume less alcohol
3) stretch and do yoga in the mornings. Possibly run when comfortable
4) be utterly compassionate
5) be a little more ridiculous
Needless to say I've conquered only one of these things and of course it's last on the list. While I've managed to put myself out there the rest of my short to do list has been avoided at all costs, not consciously of course, I've knocked down too many buckets to be aware I havn't worked on bettering myself. So I'm going to break it down a little to make myself feel better for lack of attempt.
Being conscious of my diet IS easy when there is no fast food around (and I can't seem to handle Western food anymore, I've tried twice and both were immediate disasters), however not easy when EVERYTHING is fried. Let's face it, I could stand to loose twenty some odd pounds, anyone but Portia DeRossi Degeneres could (stuff your face girl). And I really wanted to here but I sweat so much just sitting around that I can't even fathom attempting to run or do a push up or whatever. It's hot as the Devils crotch out here. Sick. Than I think, hey! Water weight is a big part of it, isn't it? Isn't it?! Appearently not when the water I consume is actually beer.
Consuming less alcohol...PASS! We all knew that wouldn't happen, but I'm doing it out of sheer joy now not to suppress the animosity I felt towards society.
Im too hungover in the morning for the downward dog, please. I really wanted to stretch on the beach since I spend hours a day there trying to burn a permanent tan into my skin. However, I'm saving burning the image of my Buddha belly into beach goers eyes. When it comes down to it though I can't blame genetics, I can't blame the fact that I'm possibly the laziest human being to have ever lived, I can only blame my parents. For raising me in the most desolate and boring place on earth. Sure it's fantastic to spend eight months a year all curled up in my snuggy watching a Molly Ringwald marathon, and ordering 241. But the fact that my thighs and butt look like they survived a hail storm is not.
Today I observed some of God's most beautiful creations trot along the beach glistening in the sun. Not a jiggle, not a dimple, not even a friggin tan line. That's when it hit me. These people are from places with constant sun and activity. If I grew up in a bikini damn right I'd also do my best to look good in it. I bet chasing Kangaroos is great cardio. These people are clearly busy body's and it's because of where they were brought up. So mom and dad, this 20 lbs is for you... Seriously I need lypo, I'll get them to put it in a jar and you can keep it.
I guess I'm still struggling with being comfortable with the amount of flesh I have. Woof. And the fact that I'm white.
As far as the compassion aspect goes I suppose I do find it more often then not. The locals here are the friendliest, most loving and respectful people I've ever encountered. To each other and Mother Earth. I guess doing the generic tourist stuff is when it gets me down. Every man for himself is the mentality and all manners learned throughout life seem to be disregarded. Lucky for me, being polite, quiet, and pushed around, always last, I always get my stuff first. Jack holes!
Fun fact: I'm so beached, bro!
1) be more conscious of exercise and diet
2) consume less alcohol
3) stretch and do yoga in the mornings. Possibly run when comfortable
4) be utterly compassionate
5) be a little more ridiculous
Needless to say I've conquered only one of these things and of course it's last on the list. While I've managed to put myself out there the rest of my short to do list has been avoided at all costs, not consciously of course, I've knocked down too many buckets to be aware I havn't worked on bettering myself. So I'm going to break it down a little to make myself feel better for lack of attempt.
Being conscious of my diet IS easy when there is no fast food around (and I can't seem to handle Western food anymore, I've tried twice and both were immediate disasters), however not easy when EVERYTHING is fried. Let's face it, I could stand to loose twenty some odd pounds, anyone but Portia DeRossi Degeneres could (stuff your face girl). And I really wanted to here but I sweat so much just sitting around that I can't even fathom attempting to run or do a push up or whatever. It's hot as the Devils crotch out here. Sick. Than I think, hey! Water weight is a big part of it, isn't it? Isn't it?! Appearently not when the water I consume is actually beer.
Consuming less alcohol...PASS! We all knew that wouldn't happen, but I'm doing it out of sheer joy now not to suppress the animosity I felt towards society.
Im too hungover in the morning for the downward dog, please. I really wanted to stretch on the beach since I spend hours a day there trying to burn a permanent tan into my skin. However, I'm saving burning the image of my Buddha belly into beach goers eyes. When it comes down to it though I can't blame genetics, I can't blame the fact that I'm possibly the laziest human being to have ever lived, I can only blame my parents. For raising me in the most desolate and boring place on earth. Sure it's fantastic to spend eight months a year all curled up in my snuggy watching a Molly Ringwald marathon, and ordering 241. But the fact that my thighs and butt look like they survived a hail storm is not.
Today I observed some of God's most beautiful creations trot along the beach glistening in the sun. Not a jiggle, not a dimple, not even a friggin tan line. That's when it hit me. These people are from places with constant sun and activity. If I grew up in a bikini damn right I'd also do my best to look good in it. I bet chasing Kangaroos is great cardio. These people are clearly busy body's and it's because of where they were brought up. So mom and dad, this 20 lbs is for you... Seriously I need lypo, I'll get them to put it in a jar and you can keep it.
I guess I'm still struggling with being comfortable with the amount of flesh I have. Woof. And the fact that I'm white.
As far as the compassion aspect goes I suppose I do find it more often then not. The locals here are the friendliest, most loving and respectful people I've ever encountered. To each other and Mother Earth. I guess doing the generic tourist stuff is when it gets me down. Every man for himself is the mentality and all manners learned throughout life seem to be disregarded. Lucky for me, being polite, quiet, and pushed around, always last, I always get my stuff first. Jack holes!
Fun fact: I'm so beached, bro!
Do you have a reservation?
Another long trek to another destination. The ferry to Ko Pha-Ngan boasted over 300 day glow wearing douchebags with the social skills and manners of a pack of horny wild chimps. This is the only time in my life where "if you can't beat em, join em" is holding true. I've lost faith in mankind.
The full moon party here is known as the best beach party worldwide. It all started in 1987 at Paradise Bungalows in Hat Rin Nok, for a birthday party. It turned out so successful it became a tradition that grew and grew and now over 30,000 people flock from all over to experience more than 24 hours of sheer madness (not to mention the full months of other party's it holds).
Im hauling ass up a hill trying to find a place called Chill House, I've been hiking about fifteen minutes and I'm dog tired, it looks like the odds of me finding a place to stay are close to nil or the price is extremely inflated. What do you know? I see a familiar face in a restaurant smiling at me. The roles have reversed Alun is now my travel angel. Oh, and he's Welsh, I really screwed that one up. Sorry! We laugh and hug and are just so happy to see each other and sit and have a beer. Looks like the universe has aligned in some odd cosmic way because we find each other when we are down and out. I'm so blessed to have him in my life.
Alun had been robbed the night before, (I sense some karma for that individual) and I was homeless. He had a place to stay and I had money...perfect! So we set to the beach immediately to check out the vibe building up to the big party. I've never seen so many bucket places in my life! The bars are the usual Thai beach club but they have games set up, a death slide, body painters on the beach, a giant public toilet called the ocean, and a jump rope on fire for all the drunk people to use at their disposal, this looks promising.
My 78 year old man bladder has definitely come very close to getting the best of me. Especially in tight situations like here where you pay to use the toilet at any club. Alun thinks i should keep a 10 baht piece pinched between my bum cheeks because then id have a nice bum and i could also use the toilet, yuh ok. The odds of me having a 10 baht are about as good as me drinking water at night. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. Nope. So my very first night here I nearly peed myself. I thought I was ok and I'd wiggle down the beach looking for the nearest toilet sign, my pee dance clearly wasn't fooling anyone. It was obvious and by that point I didn't care. I hiked up my pants and high tailed it to relief. Of course, a 10 baht sign with a coin slot was in my face. I looked around quickly, no one was in sight, and darted to the most concealed place I could find. Ahhhhhh! I've nearly peed myself half a dozen times on this trip. Good greif.
We were about to head in for the night when foam started spewing from one of the clubs. I barely had time to process it and Alun had yanked me into the bubbly mess and I was consumed. What a wild, terrific smelling, soapy experience. Like any logical bucket drinker I ran immediately into the ocean to get the bubbles out of my hair. Sorry mother ocean! Than I realize I was extremely uncomfortable in my soaking wet pants so of course I just took them off and went running down the beach. Luckily our bungalow is close so I didn't have to hightail it far.
By day the music is still pulsing from all around by the spectacular white sand and blue waters have me aw struck. Our place is right on the beach there's nothing like waking up to this every morning and heading straight for the pool.
Fun Fact: oh four five six!
The full moon party here is known as the best beach party worldwide. It all started in 1987 at Paradise Bungalows in Hat Rin Nok, for a birthday party. It turned out so successful it became a tradition that grew and grew and now over 30,000 people flock from all over to experience more than 24 hours of sheer madness (not to mention the full months of other party's it holds).
Im hauling ass up a hill trying to find a place called Chill House, I've been hiking about fifteen minutes and I'm dog tired, it looks like the odds of me finding a place to stay are close to nil or the price is extremely inflated. What do you know? I see a familiar face in a restaurant smiling at me. The roles have reversed Alun is now my travel angel. Oh, and he's Welsh, I really screwed that one up. Sorry! We laugh and hug and are just so happy to see each other and sit and have a beer. Looks like the universe has aligned in some odd cosmic way because we find each other when we are down and out. I'm so blessed to have him in my life.
Alun had been robbed the night before, (I sense some karma for that individual) and I was homeless. He had a place to stay and I had money...perfect! So we set to the beach immediately to check out the vibe building up to the big party. I've never seen so many bucket places in my life! The bars are the usual Thai beach club but they have games set up, a death slide, body painters on the beach, a giant public toilet called the ocean, and a jump rope on fire for all the drunk people to use at their disposal, this looks promising.
My 78 year old man bladder has definitely come very close to getting the best of me. Especially in tight situations like here where you pay to use the toilet at any club. Alun thinks i should keep a 10 baht piece pinched between my bum cheeks because then id have a nice bum and i could also use the toilet, yuh ok. The odds of me having a 10 baht are about as good as me drinking water at night. You'd think I'd learn my lesson. Nope. So my very first night here I nearly peed myself. I thought I was ok and I'd wiggle down the beach looking for the nearest toilet sign, my pee dance clearly wasn't fooling anyone. It was obvious and by that point I didn't care. I hiked up my pants and high tailed it to relief. Of course, a 10 baht sign with a coin slot was in my face. I looked around quickly, no one was in sight, and darted to the most concealed place I could find. Ahhhhhh! I've nearly peed myself half a dozen times on this trip. Good greif.
We were about to head in for the night when foam started spewing from one of the clubs. I barely had time to process it and Alun had yanked me into the bubbly mess and I was consumed. What a wild, terrific smelling, soapy experience. Like any logical bucket drinker I ran immediately into the ocean to get the bubbles out of my hair. Sorry mother ocean! Than I realize I was extremely uncomfortable in my soaking wet pants so of course I just took them off and went running down the beach. Luckily our bungalow is close so I didn't have to hightail it far.
By day the music is still pulsing from all around by the spectacular white sand and blue waters have me aw struck. Our place is right on the beach there's nothing like waking up to this every morning and heading straight for the pool.
Fun Fact: oh four five six!
Monday, 5 March 2012
The Beach
Jenna and I took a half day trip to check out some sights around the island, mainly Maya Bay, where of course The Beach was shot. We had watched the movie the night before at Banana bar so I was very excited to be in Leo infested waters, yum yum yum. On a side note, if it's been a while check out that movie again.
We cruised on a long tail boat through turquoise waters and stared in amazement at the lime stone cliffs that surrounded us. I've never seen anything so magnificent. I'm so sad my camera could never do it justice but any photo you can find online is not photoshopped I'll tell you that much for free. This place is unbelievable. We went to Monkey Island (aw, RIP Davey Jones) where, you guessed it, we saw some monkeys. Very aggressive little creatures I must say. Normally I'd want to pick them up so we could examine each other face to face but I couldn't help but have "rabbies!" shouting in my head. So when the cutest little thing hightailed it after me latching onto my leg I screamed so loud it freaked him out and I headed straight for the water feeling a little foolish.
Next we saw the Viking cave, I still don't get it. And finally got to snorkel in Maya Bay for about half an hour. Snorkeling has to be my favorite activity it's such a peaceful experience, I attempted to chase a barracuda ...they sure are fast.
It's time for an experiment!
I want to you be able to experience the sensation I did in Maya Bay. Go to the dollar store and get a turquoise bin, one big enough to stand in, and at least three inches deep. It's okay I'll wait...got it? Great. Ok, go warm up your car again and go to the grocery store. If these two places happened to be in the same vicinity I apologize that I made you complete the first task before continuing to read the directions. Now, Get roughly six large bags of icing sugar and dump them into the bin. Now get in! That is what the sand felt like, no joke. And of course the turquoise bin is the water...aww I'm so creative.
That'll be 250 Baht.
Fun fact: Jay Z and Beyoncé trademarked their daughters name.
We cruised on a long tail boat through turquoise waters and stared in amazement at the lime stone cliffs that surrounded us. I've never seen anything so magnificent. I'm so sad my camera could never do it justice but any photo you can find online is not photoshopped I'll tell you that much for free. This place is unbelievable. We went to Monkey Island (aw, RIP Davey Jones) where, you guessed it, we saw some monkeys. Very aggressive little creatures I must say. Normally I'd want to pick them up so we could examine each other face to face but I couldn't help but have "rabbies!" shouting in my head. So when the cutest little thing hightailed it after me latching onto my leg I screamed so loud it freaked him out and I headed straight for the water feeling a little foolish.
Next we saw the Viking cave, I still don't get it. And finally got to snorkel in Maya Bay for about half an hour. Snorkeling has to be my favorite activity it's such a peaceful experience, I attempted to chase a barracuda ...they sure are fast.
It's time for an experiment!
I want to you be able to experience the sensation I did in Maya Bay. Go to the dollar store and get a turquoise bin, one big enough to stand in, and at least three inches deep. It's okay I'll wait...got it? Great. Ok, go warm up your car again and go to the grocery store. If these two places happened to be in the same vicinity I apologize that I made you complete the first task before continuing to read the directions. Now, Get roughly six large bags of icing sugar and dump them into the bin. Now get in! That is what the sand felt like, no joke. And of course the turquoise bin is the water...aww I'm so creative.
That'll be 250 Baht.
Fun fact: Jay Z and Beyoncé trademarked their daughters name.
I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!
Phi Phi has been an utter riot since we got here, I've lived between the girls place and Chris' because technically I'm not supposed to be here and quite frankly I don't feel like shelling out money to sleep on the floor. There is nothing wrong with sleeping on the floor, just need to clear that up. Every night we managed buckets and hours of dancing. I've found a beer pong table that I don't ever want to leave and this place is pulse pounding even through the rain. On the plus side the girls have t.v. In their room so the movie channel has helped me through some hungover hours... Oh great a Keanu Reeves movie, my good mood has floundered... Wait, wait, hold the phone. Shia LaBeuff is in this one, back on track.
Tomorrow I leave for the full moon party which is taking place on March 8th on Ko Phan Ngan. Hopefully I can manage some accommodation since thousands upon thousands of people flock there every month. Cross your fingers for me, this could get sticky. I've managed to talk to a handful of people here in Phi Phi however who are on their way there... Another floor to sleep on perhaps?
Although I'm sad to leave my girls again I found I really enjoy traveling alone and a few quiet days before the party are much needed. Most people I encounter say they'd prefer to travel with someone. Of course the stimulation is definitely needed at times, it's just so much easier to do things on your own agenda. That should go the same for traveling with people but it never seems to work out that way. Every moment being a test is also a fun part or traveling alone. Having to figure things out on your own, ask questions (here I go again), take trains and buses and boats and planes all in a day is all part of it and although at times it's stressful it's all a game in the end both challenging and rewarding.
Fun Fact: Can I get an 'N'? ... YouTube it, honey badgers.
Tomorrow I leave for the full moon party which is taking place on March 8th on Ko Phan Ngan. Hopefully I can manage some accommodation since thousands upon thousands of people flock there every month. Cross your fingers for me, this could get sticky. I've managed to talk to a handful of people here in Phi Phi however who are on their way there... Another floor to sleep on perhaps?
Although I'm sad to leave my girls again I found I really enjoy traveling alone and a few quiet days before the party are much needed. Most people I encounter say they'd prefer to travel with someone. Of course the stimulation is definitely needed at times, it's just so much easier to do things on your own agenda. That should go the same for traveling with people but it never seems to work out that way. Every moment being a test is also a fun part or traveling alone. Having to figure things out on your own, ask questions (here I go again), take trains and buses and boats and planes all in a day is all part of it and although at times it's stressful it's all a game in the end both challenging and rewarding.
Fun Fact: Can I get an 'N'? ... YouTube it, honey badgers.
Friday, 2 March 2012
"I'm going to Sailor Moon your ass"
After a relaxing week in Ton Sai Krabi, we saddled up on a long tail and lassoed ourselves a ferry in the middle of the Andaman Sea, literally. We arrived to the madness that is Phi Phi, settled our bags at Aquanuts and said hello to a few people the gals met on their last venture before we embarked on finding a new home.
There are places everywhere, damn it is expensive though. Also some of the nicest rooms I've seen so far so you get what you pay for. The girls are looking to rent for a month and get jobs at one of the local bars, we thought that would be an easy feat seeming everyone here is doing the same. However, place after place, no luck for a cheaper fair. We thought we had found one place for 14,000 baht a month and that ended up in a huge misunderstanding which landed us homeless and on Gin Gin's (their friend Chris') patio.
He simply laughed at three girls begging him to house them and said "as long as you sleep naked" we did not care by this point. He will, by the time he gets home and sees we've classically taken over in a matter of minutes. So here we are and I'm rather excited to see some of the most beautiful beaches, this is of course where The Beach was filmed, and partake in these crazy nights of party I hear about.
The next day: Who would like to explain to me why I woke up this morning looking like I crawled out of a Ke$ha video? Make up is smeared down my face, I've got more jewelry on than Elizabeth Taylor (bless you!) and I'm littered with body paint. Fill in the blank.
Fun Fact: Europe is a continent
There are places everywhere, damn it is expensive though. Also some of the nicest rooms I've seen so far so you get what you pay for. The girls are looking to rent for a month and get jobs at one of the local bars, we thought that would be an easy feat seeming everyone here is doing the same. However, place after place, no luck for a cheaper fair. We thought we had found one place for 14,000 baht a month and that ended up in a huge misunderstanding which landed us homeless and on Gin Gin's (their friend Chris') patio.
He simply laughed at three girls begging him to house them and said "as long as you sleep naked" we did not care by this point. He will, by the time he gets home and sees we've classically taken over in a matter of minutes. So here we are and I'm rather excited to see some of the most beautiful beaches, this is of course where The Beach was filmed, and partake in these crazy nights of party I hear about.
The next day: Who would like to explain to me why I woke up this morning looking like I crawled out of a Ke$ha video? Make up is smeared down my face, I've got more jewelry on than Elizabeth Taylor (bless you!) and I'm littered with body paint. Fill in the blank.
Fun Fact: Europe is a continent
The Germans are out
Oh coconut shake, how I've missed you. Pad Thai, I'll never leave you again.
Ton Sai is, excuse my language, epic. There are two bars, one with live music and fire dancers and one with DJ music and we are the dancers. Tight ropes everywhere and some very talented people. It's littered with bungalows and the beaches are phenomenal, you have to take some nice little hikes to get around. It's relaxed and comfortable and very small. Everyone here is a happy family and mainly here to rock climb. I'm over finding a rugby player, I want a rock climber. Or both, I'll take one for e team I guess. We spend days in the sun, nights under the stars, kyak, and indulge in good food. A little R&R before we meet face to face with Phi Phi.
Fun Fact: Ton Sai is one of the few places in the world where you can see glowing plankton.
Ton Sai is, excuse my language, epic. There are two bars, one with live music and fire dancers and one with DJ music and we are the dancers. Tight ropes everywhere and some very talented people. It's littered with bungalows and the beaches are phenomenal, you have to take some nice little hikes to get around. It's relaxed and comfortable and very small. Everyone here is a happy family and mainly here to rock climb. I'm over finding a rugby player, I want a rock climber. Or both, I'll take one for e team I guess. We spend days in the sun, nights under the stars, kyak, and indulge in good food. A little R&R before we meet face to face with Phi Phi.
Fun Fact: Ton Sai is one of the few places in the world where you can see glowing plankton.
Won't you take me to... Krabi Town!
I landed in Phuket about half past three, excited to be back in Thailand. It sure has a hold on me. Once again being attacked by cabbies and tour guides I find my way to the local bus stop back to town, just outside. Again cheap cheap. I settle in the shade next to a bloke from Wales who is staring at a map of Phuket with a confused look on his face. "now what?" he asks me. I laugh, where do you want to go? "I think Phi Phi". Perfect. I'm heading to Krabi tonight and making my way to Phi Phi to meet up with my girlfriends, you are more than welcome to join.
He seems very relieved and calls me his travel angel. After the next bus to town get cancelled we are again attacked by cabbies willing to take us to town for 150 baht eat or right to Krabi for 1000. We will wait for the next bus I say. We make it back to Phuket town around 6:30 p.m. And the next bus to Krabi is at 7:00. Perfect. It's only a three hour ride so that will be a good time to show up and stay for a night...maybe two. We get some street food in our bellies and settle in front of the post that says Krabi. It's about 8:30 when a bus the Krabi starts to fire up, we load our bags and hand the lady our tickets, which are a different colour than everyone else's. "this not me" she says. Oh crap. I go to talk to the ticket lady, "ooooh, you're bus gone" she says with a dramatic pout on her face, she reminds me of the villain on Reboot. That's all she keep repeating. Ok, we get it. For some reason that bus was at the other end of the terminal, who knew? Needless to say we have to buy another ticket for this next bus, which is the last if the night.
I'm not too bothered, we are still way under budget compared to the 1000 ride directly there. Allen is harassing me to all he'll by this point. I simply look at him and say, have you not noticed this bus is playing Lethal Weapon in Thai, how amazing! Which he replies, "yeah and it's called the crazy bus" and boy was it. I managed to fall asleep within an hour or so as he lied awake apparently terrified for his life. It really was the crazy bus we made it to Krabi in only two hours in the pouring rain. We are shaken awake and mysteriously wet (all the buses seem to not be sealed properly, you will end up wet if it rains) and pushed off the bus into the middle of no where. Being the last bus of the night it doesn't need to go to the station, it just drops you off wherever.
Luckly a toothless tuk tuk driver ocomes hobbling over the meridian. "hellooooo, where you gooooo?" Krabi town, guest house, cheap cheap. "ok, 150 150" he points at us separately. Whatever, I just woke, too tired to negotiate and don't know how far we are. We prob could have gone two for one. Ah well. He takes us directly to a guesthouse, 300 baht, why not? Splitting accommodation always makes things easier. We have a balcony on the second floor, Wifi in the room, our own bath and sports on t.v. It's almost midnight so we take to the street to get some grub.
Krabi town is probably my favorite town so far. It reminds me of Moose Jaw lines with shops and eateries, and seems very sleepy. The streets are wide and there is no traffic at night, just you to explore and as the sun comes up it is surrounded by beautiful scenery and of course, Wats. We manage to make it to the night market right before it shut down and grabbed some street food, I'll never get over it. It it didn't break every health law in the book I'd love to have my own back in Canada. You could make a killing.
We wander the streets a bit more, the world is our oyster, and see a group of Americans sitting outside a bar and decide to join them. The woman who owns the bar is passed out in a hammock, apparently drunk, so we just keep leaving money at the bar and serve ourselves. Team America has just arrived in Thailand from Beijing (where they all currently reside) and are very excited to hear what I can tell them about this glorious country. We talk for several hours and retire for the night.
I'm up and ready first the next morning so I find out how to get to the girls, which happen to be in Ton Sai and not yet Phi Phi. No worry. A local bus just down from whee we are staying takes us to Ao Nang and the long tailed boat takes us to Ton Sai. The expression on Allen's face cracked me up as we keep cramming more and more people on the bus. This is how it goes I say. He is laughing by this point. We get directly on the boat a this point, crossing turquoise waters, around limestone cliffs speckled with rock climbers, our eyes growing wider. Again, we found paradise.
It's just after noon when we arrive so we settle at the firs bar to have a couple beers before we go on the hunt for Jenna and Chels. They found us before we found them. So happy! Hugs and stories and smiles all around. I finally have a chance to do laundry and settle into to a hut once again.
Fun fact: the hardest part of my day right now is always being covered in sand.
He seems very relieved and calls me his travel angel. After the next bus to town get cancelled we are again attacked by cabbies willing to take us to town for 150 baht eat or right to Krabi for 1000. We will wait for the next bus I say. We make it back to Phuket town around 6:30 p.m. And the next bus to Krabi is at 7:00. Perfect. It's only a three hour ride so that will be a good time to show up and stay for a night...maybe two. We get some street food in our bellies and settle in front of the post that says Krabi. It's about 8:30 when a bus the Krabi starts to fire up, we load our bags and hand the lady our tickets, which are a different colour than everyone else's. "this not me" she says. Oh crap. I go to talk to the ticket lady, "ooooh, you're bus gone" she says with a dramatic pout on her face, she reminds me of the villain on Reboot. That's all she keep repeating. Ok, we get it. For some reason that bus was at the other end of the terminal, who knew? Needless to say we have to buy another ticket for this next bus, which is the last if the night.
I'm not too bothered, we are still way under budget compared to the 1000 ride directly there. Allen is harassing me to all he'll by this point. I simply look at him and say, have you not noticed this bus is playing Lethal Weapon in Thai, how amazing! Which he replies, "yeah and it's called the crazy bus" and boy was it. I managed to fall asleep within an hour or so as he lied awake apparently terrified for his life. It really was the crazy bus we made it to Krabi in only two hours in the pouring rain. We are shaken awake and mysteriously wet (all the buses seem to not be sealed properly, you will end up wet if it rains) and pushed off the bus into the middle of no where. Being the last bus of the night it doesn't need to go to the station, it just drops you off wherever.
Luckly a toothless tuk tuk driver ocomes hobbling over the meridian. "hellooooo, where you gooooo?" Krabi town, guest house, cheap cheap. "ok, 150 150" he points at us separately. Whatever, I just woke, too tired to negotiate and don't know how far we are. We prob could have gone two for one. Ah well. He takes us directly to a guesthouse, 300 baht, why not? Splitting accommodation always makes things easier. We have a balcony on the second floor, Wifi in the room, our own bath and sports on t.v. It's almost midnight so we take to the street to get some grub.
Krabi town is probably my favorite town so far. It reminds me of Moose Jaw lines with shops and eateries, and seems very sleepy. The streets are wide and there is no traffic at night, just you to explore and as the sun comes up it is surrounded by beautiful scenery and of course, Wats. We manage to make it to the night market right before it shut down and grabbed some street food, I'll never get over it. It it didn't break every health law in the book I'd love to have my own back in Canada. You could make a killing.
We wander the streets a bit more, the world is our oyster, and see a group of Americans sitting outside a bar and decide to join them. The woman who owns the bar is passed out in a hammock, apparently drunk, so we just keep leaving money at the bar and serve ourselves. Team America has just arrived in Thailand from Beijing (where they all currently reside) and are very excited to hear what I can tell them about this glorious country. We talk for several hours and retire for the night.
I'm up and ready first the next morning so I find out how to get to the girls, which happen to be in Ton Sai and not yet Phi Phi. No worry. A local bus just down from whee we are staying takes us to Ao Nang and the long tailed boat takes us to Ton Sai. The expression on Allen's face cracked me up as we keep cramming more and more people on the bus. This is how it goes I say. He is laughing by this point. We get directly on the boat a this point, crossing turquoise waters, around limestone cliffs speckled with rock climbers, our eyes growing wider. Again, we found paradise.
It's just after noon when we arrive so we settle at the firs bar to have a couple beers before we go on the hunt for Jenna and Chels. They found us before we found them. So happy! Hugs and stories and smiles all around. I finally have a chance to do laundry and settle into to a hut once again.
Fun fact: the hardest part of my day right now is always being covered in sand.
Happy
For showing me chivalry is not dead.
Knock-knock-knock. "room service!" a terribly disguised high pitched mans voice called from the other side of the door. I was in the middle of a solid nap, what is going on? What time is it? Who is that?
I open the door, eyes a little blurred as the sun shines in. What are you doing? I'm terribly confused by my mid day nap and the Australian fellow I met the night before, who I never thought I'd see again, standing before me. "I'm here to take you for a sunset dinner" you're kidding me right? "I know this really good seafood restaurant right in the beach best sunsets ever, you like seafood?" I'm allergic. "me too", he has this stupid grin on his face the whole time.
We hop in a cab and take to a different part of the island, about a thirty minute ride. He's right. The sunset is perfect and we have a spot with our toes in the sand, bingteng, and some sort of make shift vegetarian meal. Aside from seafood there was only chicken, which he refrained from eating because of me. An extremely kind gesture but I didn't mind either way.
Next I know, an Asian version of a Mariache band is making it's way towards us, luckily belting out top 40 of the decades. As they finish a song just down for us Happy yells, "it's my honeymoon!" No. He. Didn't. The band, all giddy, makes there way over. "sing us a love song" I can feel my face burning with embarrassment and he still has that grin on his face. Ok, boom boom (my Indo name) lighten up. Needless to say my "wedding song" is "everything I do" by Bryan Adams. Followed by "Summer of '69." Ha!
This guy is an utter riot and his carefree attitude has me on the edge of my seat at all times. He's so out there and random, where did this creature come from? Aside from bareing an uncanny resemblance to Keifer Sutherland, I think I'll keep him.
Close to ten we start heading back, this time to Seminyak instead of Kuta, thank god, Kuta is giving me Dengue. He tells the cabbie where to go as I don't know up from down and he's been here a handful of times. Guess where he took me. This is it...Get ready!
I step out the cab to pumping music, rainbow flags, and Drag Queens. "Lady Gaga show tonight, darling" says the ridiculously cute little gay boy. I turn around and face Happy. Now I have the stupid grin on my face. "I love you" gay bar after gay bar I have a surge of ecstasy flowing through my veins like a junky who just got their fix. Actually it's exactly the same. Im surprised I didn't spontaneously combust and leave the streets showered in glitter. We settle into one of the many clubs with a drag show, and wow, what a drag show. Of course all the queens are also mourning the loss of Miss Whitney so you can bet ever second number had a Whitney strutting in on the tables. My favorite was the very first, 90's Whitney, with the short bouncy curled bob. I'm on the floor at this point, having a fit of joy. Could this girl work it. Right down to the quick little head head twitch, you know what I'm saying. Some real sass.
I could clearly go on and on about how amazing this street was, I even managed to meet a Toronto DJ, who is definitely right up Ezra's alley, We fell instantly in love. And then I fell in love with the pole dancers. Two guys, one pole...wait...three poles? But these guys were really talented, both just swinging around one pole, I thought it was going to be a bloodbath, they were graceful as swans.
Happy had such good humor about all of it, he danced more than I did and the boys loved him, I thought he was going home with them at the end of the night the way things were looking. He didn't even bat an eyelash when one of them planted a kiss on him, ha! What a sport.
Before the night was over we ended up on the street with a bunch of locals drinking Arak (never do it, please.) playing the guitar and djumbai. Happy loved dedicating any song about a girl to me and stared me right in the eye as he sang. Oh, brother.
To top the whole experience off he even went with me to the airport to see me off, right to the gate. As I'm going though security I can hear him wailing Cyndi Laupers "Time after time" in the distance.
Fun fact: What a treat!
Knock-knock-knock. "room service!" a terribly disguised high pitched mans voice called from the other side of the door. I was in the middle of a solid nap, what is going on? What time is it? Who is that?
I open the door, eyes a little blurred as the sun shines in. What are you doing? I'm terribly confused by my mid day nap and the Australian fellow I met the night before, who I never thought I'd see again, standing before me. "I'm here to take you for a sunset dinner" you're kidding me right? "I know this really good seafood restaurant right in the beach best sunsets ever, you like seafood?" I'm allergic. "me too", he has this stupid grin on his face the whole time.
We hop in a cab and take to a different part of the island, about a thirty minute ride. He's right. The sunset is perfect and we have a spot with our toes in the sand, bingteng, and some sort of make shift vegetarian meal. Aside from seafood there was only chicken, which he refrained from eating because of me. An extremely kind gesture but I didn't mind either way.
Next I know, an Asian version of a Mariache band is making it's way towards us, luckily belting out top 40 of the decades. As they finish a song just down for us Happy yells, "it's my honeymoon!" No. He. Didn't. The band, all giddy, makes there way over. "sing us a love song" I can feel my face burning with embarrassment and he still has that grin on his face. Ok, boom boom (my Indo name) lighten up. Needless to say my "wedding song" is "everything I do" by Bryan Adams. Followed by "Summer of '69." Ha!
This guy is an utter riot and his carefree attitude has me on the edge of my seat at all times. He's so out there and random, where did this creature come from? Aside from bareing an uncanny resemblance to Keifer Sutherland, I think I'll keep him.
Close to ten we start heading back, this time to Seminyak instead of Kuta, thank god, Kuta is giving me Dengue. He tells the cabbie where to go as I don't know up from down and he's been here a handful of times. Guess where he took me. This is it...Get ready!
I step out the cab to pumping music, rainbow flags, and Drag Queens. "Lady Gaga show tonight, darling" says the ridiculously cute little gay boy. I turn around and face Happy. Now I have the stupid grin on my face. "I love you" gay bar after gay bar I have a surge of ecstasy flowing through my veins like a junky who just got their fix. Actually it's exactly the same. Im surprised I didn't spontaneously combust and leave the streets showered in glitter. We settle into one of the many clubs with a drag show, and wow, what a drag show. Of course all the queens are also mourning the loss of Miss Whitney so you can bet ever second number had a Whitney strutting in on the tables. My favorite was the very first, 90's Whitney, with the short bouncy curled bob. I'm on the floor at this point, having a fit of joy. Could this girl work it. Right down to the quick little head head twitch, you know what I'm saying. Some real sass.
I could clearly go on and on about how amazing this street was, I even managed to meet a Toronto DJ, who is definitely right up Ezra's alley, We fell instantly in love. And then I fell in love with the pole dancers. Two guys, one pole...wait...three poles? But these guys were really talented, both just swinging around one pole, I thought it was going to be a bloodbath, they were graceful as swans.
Happy had such good humor about all of it, he danced more than I did and the boys loved him, I thought he was going home with them at the end of the night the way things were looking. He didn't even bat an eyelash when one of them planted a kiss on him, ha! What a sport.
Before the night was over we ended up on the street with a bunch of locals drinking Arak (never do it, please.) playing the guitar and djumbai. Happy loved dedicating any song about a girl to me and stared me right in the eye as he sang. Oh, brother.
To top the whole experience off he even went with me to the airport to see me off, right to the gate. As I'm going though security I can hear him wailing Cyndi Laupers "Time after time" in the distance.
Fun fact: What a treat!
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