The international language ... Charades!

I must have slept a solid ten hours. The guesthouse I choose is rather pricey (actually everything here seems quite pricey, come on Laos let's be friends with a budget) but it was a comfortable bed with the best pillows yet. I finally took to the streets feeling refreshed and yes this place is so magical. It's walking friendly with lots to see as you wander along down deserted streets in this yet again French style town. It's very run down but because of that very intriguing. The minimarts are jam packed with everything from pearl infused face whitening cream to wrenches to frozen foods, perfect since I forgot half my life in the hotel in Hue as I made a drunken dash to my bus. I had a proper cappuccino, a delicious egg sandwich and finished it off with some chocolate treats from the bakery. I also found where to get a tuk tuk tomorrow, a vegetarian restaurant, a book exchange and wifi (which i have to pay for, boo on that). I'm getting the serenity I was craving since Vietnam was sheer madness and although this town clearly shuts down early I've found all the amenities I have decided to risk going south before north to check out Si Phan Don, also known as four thousand islands. I might end up being a little tight for time in the end but I think it's more than worth the risk as long as I can find my way around, thank god for this guidebook that I've been wanting to burn the entire trip. Fun fact: the wheels on the bus go round and round, then it breaks down. Let the adventure begin!

How, now, Laos, cow

I've arrived in Savannakhet, Laos after another grueling 10 and a half hour bus ride. I am the only white person in the town and so far and no one speaks English. Basically enough to get me from point A to point B, that's all I need right now. It's a little unnerving however, I think I'm experiencing culture shock. I didn't get out until after the sun was down and hadn't eaten all day so I was a little freaked out. I finally got the courage to at least go find some food. Everything was written in Lao and whenever I asked for vegetable no one had a clue what I was saying and of course they can't comprehend my phrasebook. Oh Oprah, look after me this time. I managed to not get lost (I usually don't care about that but I don't have moto drivers at my back and call out here) and fill my belly. Looks like this map is in the direction I want it to be! I also made it back before the storm hit again, rainy season is alive and well! The streets were completely flooded, at least a foot of water. No joke. So I took of my sandals, pulled up my pant legs, and splashed around the streets while frogs echoed so loudly all around me. This town really does have something magical about it, maybe it's the people staring at me, maybe it's that I feel I have it all to myself, but I may book a NPA tour as there are so many national parks here, before I work my way up North, or maybe down south? Fun fact: the night market has moved!

Freckles...the glitter of skin disease

Kris Morrow you have a delicious mind. Like butterscotch pudding I want to swim in it then take a shower because it's dirty. Chris and I retraced my steps through the south from the beginning of my Vietnam trip. We played around in Vin Pearl, got kicked out of a hotel in Hoi An, and partied a little too hard the night before we parted ways in Hue. It went by way too fast and there were definitely too many hours spent on buses trying to tackle as much as we could in two weeks. We kept busy but didn't necessarily keep out of trouble. We witnessed a heated argument on the magical bus from Nha Trang to Hoi An, never a dull moment. Needless to say the Vietnamese got rather aggressive with a French man who didn't want to sleep with four strangers at the back of the bus, can you blame him? Especially when there isn't designated bus seats. Calmly as he could the man said, "I will smash your face" followed by "the Americans should have finished you off". wow.  Strangely enough we left an hour late and arrived an hour early. Before saying goodbye to Vietnam, and unfortunately I wanted to, Chris and I got to spend a few days with doctor from Israel who was a total riot. Yes mom, I met a doctor. Fortunately for me he's a Jewish doctor (love the Jews) but unfortunately for me he likes Jewish girls. Note: the tattoo was not a give away. When we got to Hue we booked a four hour bus ride (one way. Fml.) to a national park to visit one of the many caves Vietnam has to offer. Was it worth it? Absolutely. Do I remember any names of the places we went? Absolutely not. Damnit, I wish I had more information for you because it was so amazing. A boat took us throughout the cave as bats swarmed overhead and we were able to get off and explore on foot in a few places. The most interesting spot in the cave was off limits due to danger but had writing on the walls dating back to the 11th century and the cave also doubled as a hospital during the war in the 70's.  There was definitely a lot more I would have liked to explore in Vietnam as it was the most beautiful country I've seen to date. but with only a month and too many hours in transit you have to pick and choose. While the sights were more than worth it unfortunately it was the least friendly country I've been too.  Fun fact: I managed to save a lizard from drowning and a broken winged bat from being run over. I've found my calling. Animal rescuer!

Still can't figure out spaces

Chris and I have been basking in Vietnams glory for a week now. We spent the first day avoiding scooter death in Hanoi, going to the markets, the lake, trying different street foods, and drinking the 25 cent draft with the locals on the street. One day was more than enough and we booked a three day, two night, boat/bungalow tour with White Sails in Halong Bay and Cat Ba Island. Defiantly my number one excursion on this trip. We had a tour guide Frank, who I referred to as Uncle Jason (the personality similarities were uncanny, this guy was a riot) who had us on a tight schedule all through the first day but was very silly and chatty.  After a four hour bus ride we finally got on our boat and the sensation of being on the water almost exploded my heart. Over 3000 craggy... Do you know what craggy means? I had to explain this to Chris and couldn't think of a different word than craggy, so he calls them rocky rocks... Islands stand tall out of the Gulf of Tonkin. Sure, the water isn't the cleanest but after a day of kayaking, trekking, and touring caves nothing beats a jellyfish infested swim. The scenery was surreal and the calmness at night under the stars surrounded but lovely boats (junk) was so fulfilling. We had a really fantastic group of ten, Chris and Ben being the only boys, whom easily warmed up to each other as we overindulged in the best food I've had since I've been out here. Being a veggie was no problem on this tour, I felt like a queen. Chris and I snuck a bottle of vodka on the boat, got busted but nothing came of it, and had several laughs at Franks expense (I think he got into the rice wine).  We visited "surprising cave", the biggest I've ever been in but I hear they just found the worlds biggest cave elsewhere in Vietnam. It had me awestruck and the amount of "things" which have been carved into the rock naturally over the years is outstanding. Personally, I think Frank was high but every rock was an animal or person, or even Romeo and Juliet. Absolutely,beautiful though and a nice cool down from the humid day. We then took to the water for some kayaking in which case I just sat there day dreaming while Chris paddled me around and tried to search out more caves with no success. The next day we said goodbye to our new friends and headed to Cat Ba Island some some serious action. Jurassic park came alive in this National Park. It started with a good distance, at some times steep, bike ride before embarking on a wicked trek/rock climb that Chris and I both wish we were more prepared for. I was constantly distracted by animals which held the trek up a little, but I managed to spot a frog the size of my thumb nail, cute! We visited a bat cave, saw some amazing views and scenery, a did a pretty serious climb that was well worth the sweat and danger. We were all feeling very alive after this and had a second wind when we got to our bungalows over the water on our private beach. Once we checked into our bungalows we had time to swim, however low tide made it possible to walk to the next island, kayak again, visit monkey island which Chris renamed ant island as he came flying out of the jungle screaming and flew into the water, and get some beach volleyball in before dinner. Afterwards Chris proceeded to show the locals no mercy on the pool table while I sniffed out a bottle of Cab Sav our neighbors were enjoying on the deck.  Fun fact: still backwards on the otherwise of the world, back in Saigon.

I prefer liqourice to language

Ive tried my hand at every language of the country I've visited out here but Vietnamese is no where in my grasp. I've been able to have very basic conversation, ask for things, and have done decently well recognizing words all around SE Asia but my mind is in a jumble over this language. Not only is it tonal (with 6 different tones), with accents changing the meaning of a word, and the dialect changes in every place, but it can't be read phonetically.  Let me give you a crash course.  the word ma can mean 'ghost', 'which', 'mother', 'rice seedling', 'tomb', or 'horse'. Depending on the accent, which changes the tone. Before I knew any of this my Vietnamese went this way... I read 'pho' obviously as is, in which case I was asking for a prostitute because it's pronounced 'fa'. I always want to find a sign that says 'chay' which means vegetarian, however pronounced 'Chai'. Hello is 'Xin chào' pronounced 'sin jòw' but can also mean 'I want soup' and my favorite,  'cám on'. which I was told sounded like 'come on' but is actually 'kam ern' means thank you, but the way I was saying it was 'shut up'.  Fun fact: I've taken a vow of Vietnamese silence.

Namaste. And a deep breath, think of Nha Trang, and here we go!

Hands down, the most beautiful beach ever! I know I say this every time but this one had some serious mountains and was absolutely breath taking. I soaked up a pleasant amount of sun, window shopped, and it was also very travel friendly, with lots of extras to do including jet skiing  and paintball.  Which I didn't do but I did go parasailing! So fun, keeping my fingers crossed to be a bird in my next life. But, there is always a but, their safety precautions, or lack there of is questionable. So I'm like, ya I wanna go! And next thing I know I'm being pulled and hooked and you name it by three Vietnamese guys and the last one to clip me in says "when the boat go, run...boat go!" I didn't even get to process what just happened and I'm way up in the air! They bring you down to touch water a few times, and back up again. It was the freest I've ever felt, until I realized I had no clue how I was going to land. So there I am, hundreds, no thousands! Of feet in the air. Ok, they will drop me in the water. I can do this, no worry. Nope, that's the beach I'm over top of, oh god I'm coming down, why are they holding their arms out? They're kidding right there is no way they are planning on catching me like a baby...baby Jesus? Sure are, so I do what I think I should and bring my legs in incase the catch is a bust and I need to scamper a bit down the beach. Success! On my last day I went to the Disneyland of Vietnam, known as Vinpearl. You get to do everything in the park, including a two way cable car ride (the biggest in the world so they say) for twenty bucks! Considering virtually no one was there it was like having the whole place to myself, so worth it! I went water sliding, played a ridiculous amount of video games, rode my first mechanical bull...and stayed on! Snuck onto some kiddy play rooms, I don't care how old you are they are Fun at any age. And took full advantage of the rides a ridiculous amount of times. I think I shared a ride once, and the luoging is where it's at. This is my break? Don't care, don't need it! Fun Fact: green bean ice-cream.

Crazy Train

Let's begin with one of my classic rants before I tell you how amazing my week in Nha Trang was. So big brother is flying into Hanoi, as I expected I'd be halfway up the coast by then, but he informs me it would be better if I could meet I'm at the airport. And of course it would, Hanoi is not the place I'd want to show up alone if I was just arriving somewhere, this place is more chaos then anything I've seen so far, especially where I'm staying. I must admit my map skills are through the roof these days! So, like a good sister, I make the 36+ hour bus ride(s) to Hanoi from Nha Trang. You all know the song and dance, you've heard it a million times but this one takes the cake. First off, I hate sleeper buses, I'd rather sit than try and cram myself into a toboggan like "bed" for that long of a stint. Everyone is uncomfortable except for the pleasantly tiny, Vietnamese. Not to mention the buses are insanely dirty and my favorite green dress is now covered in chocolate stains, and what I anticipate is Purple Drank. Bloody hell! They just keep piling people on and no one has assigned seating.  Also! The foreigners get to sleep at the back of the bus, right next to the toilet, and in the perfect spot for everyone to rob you. Yup! Pretty much everyone got robbed on that bus (I am now in search of my third hammock of the trip) or at least woke up to someone attempting to go through their stuff. To take the cake, the busted arsonist screams full boar in Vietnamese like we did something wrong. Do the bus drivers care? No. Do they even speak English? Of course not. The third bus I Got on managed to not have a toilet, this was the 15+ hour ride, and it only stopped once an hour and a half in. Greeeeat. But that meant no thieves were wandering about and we all slept, in and out, in between breakdowns. I think this ride held the world records. We got so used to it in the end no body looked up when we hard the bus driver pull the tools from beneath his seat. We never knew what the problem was but every half an hour he was out there ramming around...for hours! I envisioned myself not making it off that bus alive so perhaps my next post will be my Will. Fun Fact: Cody, you can have it all. But you'll have to fight my beneficiary, Marky Mark. And he is in good shape these days!

Mama Coco

You're a deck! I miss you terribly. Love your bitter half.

Put your hands in the air if you hate lemongrass!

Do me a favor and don't show up in my curry ever again. You gross me out. I've arrived in Nha Trang! It's like flippin Vegas up in this beach town, but I think I'll actually enjoy it this time. There's tons of people around and distracting neon lights to keep me going for hours, and lots of alleys! I love getting lost. I'm also changing hotels tomorrow because a cyclo (worse than a tuk tuk)dropped me off at a place with Japanese style doors. Yu can hear EVERYTHING, and there is a shared bathroom, which I'm right beside but the light shines straight through the paper walls. Mama Mia I was too tired to argue, can you tell I'm burning out and thinking about different things? Like rugby players. I've come to the conclusion that all Asian women can do the splits. I had the honor of watching Asia's version of dancing with the stars, circa 2009, on the bus ride over here. I opted against the sleeper bus because last time I took one of those the right side of the windshield was spidered to all hell and I keep waking up airborn, not as fun as it sounds... Yes it was. Anyway, side tracked, pretty lights,...oh yes the splits. So all these random celebrities, young, old, skinny, thick, whatever can randomly pull out the splits during their dance! I couldn't believe it. Once again, a self hating caucasion. Can you change your race like you can change your name? In that case I want to be Kimora Lee... Currently having a cup of Vietnamese coffee, which is never hot enough, and will have a fun filled update for you soon. Fun fact: Turducken's are real. I've seen them.