The Freak

"Every town's got a freak" Paul is rambling and I'm wondering if he is the freak in his town. We were reevaluating the previous nights events. We had gone down to pool bar to get a bite and have a bucket while chatting about music festivals and good times. Suddenly this man child, with an atrocious gummy smile, and Koosh ball hair cut is staring at me, only a few feet away. So, I smile and watch him, so serious, and finally he cracks a smile only a blind mother could love. I was feeling a bit relieved as he marched off somewhere only to re appear a few moments later and sit beside me. Ok, no harm in that, he's probably just bored and liked being around the Falang. To my surprise he actually had a bit of English, basic, but so was he. So, after a few buckets, more people join us and the Freak is still hanging about. He keeps asking if "I'm okay" ...ummm, yes? And is joking around, being silly, you know slapping my thigh and rubbin my shoulder, eventually putting an arm around me. He seems harmless enough so whatever. Finally, I've had all the attention I can for the night and tell Paul I'm going to retire. I leave the bar and mr. Man-child is following me, now walking with me, laughing like I just told him a joke, and he goes for my hand! I've dated a handful of retards in my day but this guy was pushing his luck (if any of my exes are reading this I didn't mean you). So I jerk away and say no, no, no and march off to my cabina. But I can feel his eyes on me as a round reception. I can't find the key in this black hole of a purse I'm toting around (I'm burning this bag ASAP) so I duck behind the hammocks and luckily it's almost pitch black where I'm squatted. Can you believe this?! Hiding from a freak, not that I was scared, I was curious as to what his next move was, he seemed very harmless. So there he appears, out of the darkness like an Asian version of the chupacobra! And he is just standing between my place and the couples next to mine. The girl is sitting on her computer with her back to him, no clue he is there and I'm just waiting, like a white ninja for him to make a move. He stares a while and backs away, but I'm one step ahead of this freak, I know he is looking for me and I can hear his footsteps around the other side. I'm digging hopelessly for my keys, knowing I will be caught up soon enough. Sure as shit, he comes back around, my search still in effect, and just stares at me. I finally find the key, don't say a word, get inside and brace myself against the door. Damn, these bent nails! What kind of security is this?!  Footsteps come up on to the deck and I hear mumbling, thank god, Paul. I barely open the door and yank him in... He's out there isn't he? Paul is killing himself laughing, "oh the freak, you've got a freak!" Paul quit pissing around! Is he or is he not out there. "oh yeah, he's just standing around" For skrillex sakes! I'm getting out of here, and you are coming with me. Let's go have a beer this is too much right now. Paul opens the door and the Freak is right there! At the door! He shuts it fast, starts howling, and goes "oh my god!" Let's go, please. Paul goes first, asks the Freak what he wants and tells him to leave while shuffling at him off the deck like a dog. He finally leaves and we manage to loose the Freak... For the night. He pops up here and there throughout the week, this time I'm avoiding him at all costs, not even making eye contact or allowing him to know I'm aware he is behind me while I'm sending out emails. Jeaysus! So here's where it gets interesting. Turns out the Freak has got a serious fetish for blondes. I mean he starts friendly but then tries to get too friendly. Yuck. It happened  to the blonde girl who was hanging out with us the night I encountered him, this info we relayed while he was creeping me, thanks. And when he was looking for me he ended up staring at me girl neighbor, another blonde. So this is how he picks out his victims. What does he do? Wait's until they are nice and tipsy and steals their shit! iPods, computers, phones, whatever he can sell throughout the island. He gets on their good side and when they aren't looking, boom goes the dynamite. Worst part is, all the locals and bar owners knows he does this and no one says shit! I can't believe it. Anyway, that info was relayed to me in between bathroom visits to toss my Halal. Paul once again all excited, especially with new info on him. Fun Fact: I bet you had to take a break while reading that one! Didn't ya?!