I prefer liqourice to language

Ive tried my hand at every language of the country I've visited out here but Vietnamese is no where in my grasp. I've been able to have very basic conversation, ask for things, and have done decently well recognizing words all around SE Asia but my mind is in a jumble over this language. Not only is it tonal (with 6 different tones), with accents changing the meaning of a word, and the dialect changes in every place, but it can't be read phonetically.  Let me give you a crash course.  the word ma can mean 'ghost', 'which', 'mother', 'rice seedling', 'tomb', or 'horse'. Depending on the accent, which changes the tone. Before I knew any of this my Vietnamese went this way... I read 'pho' obviously as is, in which case I was asking for a prostitute because it's pronounced 'fa'. I always want to find a sign that says 'chay' which means vegetarian, however pronounced 'Chai'. Hello is 'Xin chào' pronounced 'sin jòw' but can also mean 'I want soup' and my favorite,  'cám on'. which I was told sounded like 'come on' but is actually 'kam ern' means thank you, but the way I was saying it was 'shut up'.  Fun fact: I've taken a vow of Vietnamese silence.